u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I am naked and annoyed.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize