At least make sure they are 18
Why
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
