help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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