He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
