You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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