Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
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I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
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Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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