He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
