butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
