It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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