he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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