My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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