we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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