it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
