I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
