Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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