yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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