"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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