I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
