it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
