wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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