how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
