Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
