i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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