So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
