so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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