He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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