well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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