3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
