ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The beer is more important than you right now.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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