I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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