I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
