We're facebook friends in real life
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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