saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
