He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
