bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
honey bunches of taint.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
