its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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