It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
