Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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