You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
