Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
