you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
