the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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