You can't motorboat a personality
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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