Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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