dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
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I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
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Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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