My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
