I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
