I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
