so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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