you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
