just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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