I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It's just like the Real World with babies
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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