Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
