I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
