Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Mom said you looked used
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
