3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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