Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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