i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
