Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.

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  (314): I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket. http://tfl.nu/jhbx
  Replies (10) Good night (1090) Bad night (540)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.

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  (517): yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox. http://tfl.nu/4oix
  Replies (4) Good night (523) Bad night (694)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!

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  (412): Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it! http://tfl.nu/we6e
  Replies (24) Good night (4164) Bad night (897)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.

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  (204): I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom. http://tfl.nu/0i9y
  Replies (12) Good night (4653) Bad night (549)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.

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  (803): Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine. http://tfl.nu/e72g
  Replies (25) Good night (8391) Bad night (997)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it

  (917): View more from New York City

  the suitcase or the dildo?

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  (312): i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it (917): the suitcase or the dildo? http://tfl.nu/j1en
  Replies (39) Good night (10169) Bad night (1539)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller

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  (814): Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller http://tfl.nu/2xod
  Replies (9) Good night (2610) Bad night (705)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.

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  (864): I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was. http://tfl.nu/wo9k
  Replies (11) Good night (1795) Bad night (4853)
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  (518): View more from New York

  so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?

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  (518): so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for? http://tfl.nu/nqhg
  Replies (9) Good night (2753) Bad night (1169)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"

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  (918): this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun" http://tfl.nu/d07w
  Replies (16) Good night (3592) Bad night (1034)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.

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  (480): I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona. http://tfl.nu/nax7
  Replies (3) Good night (1714) Bad night (688)
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  (818): View more from California

  Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20

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  (818): Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20 http://tfl.nu/6e47
  Replies (2) Good night (1171) Bad night (354)
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  (805): View more from California

  Are you feeling okay?

  (1-805): View more from California

  Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.

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  (805): Are you feeling okay? (1-805): Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/wneq
  Replies (0) Good night (258) Bad night (388)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.

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  (785): I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here. http://tfl.nu/kjaj
  Replies (2) Good night (497) Bad night (405)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.

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  (410): We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again. http://tfl.nu/b5s0
  Replies (1) Good night (714) Bad night (164)

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