Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail