Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt

  (702): View more from Nevada

  maybe shoes and water too

  (702): View more from Nevada

  oh and maybe a noose to hang myself

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  (702): can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt (702): maybe shoes and water too (702): oh and maybe a noose to hang myself http://tfl.nu/qxrs
  Replies (8) Good night (884) Bad night (2743)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.

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  (908): her vagina looked like a handful of raisins. http://tfl.nu/5whx
  Replies (91) Good night (1307) Bad night (24330)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?

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  (336): Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone? http://tfl.nu/bgt3
  Replies (22) Good night (8234) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.

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  (860): Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god. http://tfl.nu/co52
  Replies (30) Good night (1364) Bad night (10237)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds

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  (931): I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds http://tfl.nu/gekw
  Replies (20) Good night (1178) Bad night (3588)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"

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  (303): You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty" http://tfl.nu/y2bi
  Replies (21) Good night (1089) Bad night (5956)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please

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  (504): today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please http://tfl.nu/2mvs
  Replies (26) Good night (5761) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete

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  (484): maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete http://tfl.nu/m91r
  Replies (10) Good night (3867) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.

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  (608): It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table. http://tfl.nu/47ew
  Replies (10) Good night (3586) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.

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  (815): I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together. http://tfl.nu/4fcl
  Replies (6) Good night (3595) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing

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  (270): So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing http://tfl.nu/i92f
  Replies (5) Good night (1515) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.

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  (949): Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza. http://tfl.nu/9evg
  Replies (8) Good night (693) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle

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  (513): It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle http://tfl.nu/f7n7
  Replies (3) Good night (987) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.

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  (814): For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives. http://tfl.nu/zjhm
  Replies (1) Good night (1249) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter

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  (505): Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter http://tfl.nu/c0ww
  Replies (5) Good night (997) Bad night (305)

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