He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..