People in love make me want to vomit
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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