according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
