I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
