I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
